UNderstand and setting bottom Lines - At A Glance
Outline of Understanding Bottom Lines
Literature To Help Us Understand Bottom Line
Speakers & Conversations About Bottom Lines
Speakers & Conversations About Bottom Lines
Literature To Help Us Understand Bottom Line
Speakers & Conversations About Bottom Lines
Literature To Help Us Understand Bottom Line
Literature To Help Us Understand Bottom Line
Literature To Help Us Understand Bottom Line
SLAA Meetings Focused on Bottom Lines
Tools To help Get you Started Setting Bottom Lines
Literature To Help Us Understand Bottom Line
Tools To help Get you Started Setting Bottom Lines
Tools To help Get you Started Setting Bottom Lines
Tools To help Get you Started Setting Bottom Lines
UNDERSTAND AND SETTING BOTTOM LINES - OUTLINE
Bottom Lines As Defined By SLAA Litature
Bottom-line behaviors are self-defined activities which we refrain from in order to experience our physical, mental, emotional, sexual and spiritual wholeness.
Recovery begins with admitting that following our addictive path is making our lives unmanageable
and we are powerless to stop. Each person in S.L.A.A. acts out differently. Therefore, our bottom lines
are self-defined. It is up to each one of us, with the help of our Higher Power, our sponsor and others to
learn to recognize our addictive patterns. We can then set bottom lines, which we refrain from in order
to stay sober.
For example, here are some possible bottom-lines:
- Having sex with someone who is married
- Pursuing a new relationship before ending an existing one
- Having sex outside of a committed, monogamous relationship
- Following someone home uninvited
- Doing anything that could reasonably get me arrested
- Lying to my spouse
- Having anonymous sex
- Going to strip clubs and peepshows
- Having unprotected sex
- Having sex when I don’t want to
- Pursuing inappropriate or unavailable people
- Compulsively avoiding sex in a committed, long-term relationship
- Not entering or leaving a relationship without consulting my Higher Power and trusted advisors
©2006 The Augustine Fellowship, S.L.A.A., Fellowship-Wide Services, Inc.
Excerpt from Setting Bottom Lines: A Pamphlet with Worksheets
Inventory To Understand the Problem
Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. This was Step Four. A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke. Taking a commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade. One object is to disclose damaged or unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and without regret. If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values.
We did exactly the same thing with our lives. We took stock honestly. First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up which caused our failure. Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations.
Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics (Sex and Love Addicts) than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.
pg 64 AA Big Book
First ask yourself what things you do that you don't want to do. (List what things you do even though you don't want to do them)
Next list the Behaviors You Do
Behaviors that; once you start - you cannot stop and / or that lead to behaviors that cause you problems.
Now ask yourself -
What are the negative consequences of your behaviors? Chose one or all of the following;
Money - Do they cost you money You either spend money you need for other things or it interferes with your ability to earn the amount of money you should?
Safety - Do you do things that endanger your safety of the safety of others?
Self-esteem - Does doing these things affect how you see or feel about yourself?
Personal and Sex Relations - Does the behavior threaten relationships with people who matter to you? i.e. spouse, partner, children, friends, family of origin
Goals - Does the behavior interfere with goals and hopes you have for your life and future?
A Simple and honest listing of these things is all that matters. It will help you get a picture of your addiction and prepare you to see what might be what we call bottom lines or self-defined ideas of sobriety which will be discussed in another page. This addiction is unique in that the pattern of behavior is not clearly defined and usually the step one inventory just described will help see what behaviors might define a pattern to be avoided.
UNDERSTAND AND SETTING BOTTOM LINES - LITERATURE RESOURCES
SLAA Pamphlet: Setting Bottom Lines
Conference-approved by S.L.A.A., this pamphlet helps the reader understand what bottom lines are and how to use them.
SLAA Basic Text
Conference-approved by S.L.A.A., this book provides insight into the problem of sex and love addiction, information on working the 12 steps of S.L.A.A., the history of Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous, personal stories from members of the program and much more. The SLAA basic text interprets AA's program to give support to recovering sex and love addicts.
NEW RECORDING
21 March 2024 - Jane speaking at the Red Reading Group spoke on learning to apply the 12 steps to relationships by using our sponsoring relationships as practice.